Running has been a part of my morning routine for years. Strangely, the earlier the better. I love it, it is pitch black, it is quiet. My husband knows this and has bought me reflective gloves, hats, and lights. I will wear none of them and so yesterday, when a car almost hit me, I was not surprised. In the dark, I blend in. On the quiet empty streets nobody expects me. My feet make no noise. How would anyone notice I am there?
It is the same in life. If I make no noise, how will anyone hear me? Similarly, if I make too much noise I risk being dismissed and unseen as well. A client came into my office last week and said she wanted to work on her emotional intelligence. She had broken up with a boyfriend, and was having issues with a boss. She was sure she did something wrong. She described interaction after interaction and how she felt. Her feelings were absolutely valid, it was her reactions that missed the mark.
How many women wander around feeling the same? Like our emotions are wrong. We are told we are too emotional, we are overreacting, we need to either take it down a level or be quiet all together. The result is we do not feel validated, we feel dismissed. We question our emotions, our judgement our truth.
My voice and thoughts are clear and strong on this topic. Women are emotionally intuitive and their emotional intelligence is, generally, strong. It is the way they react that leaves them feeling unheard. It is important to differentiate between the two. How often, as a women, do you shut down, remain quiet, and hide from what you are feeling? How often does it bubble up and over and you tantrum like a child? Either way, is your voice heard?
Spend your time and energy figuring out how you would like to react to your emotions. First, figure out how to sit in feeling uncomfortable. Once you can do this you buy priceless time. Journal, talk to a friend, write a letter expressing your feelings, learn more about yourself, then react. In that time you can figure out the most effective way to voice what you need and how you feel.
Most importantly, you figure out how to feel heard, valued and validated. Do not walk through your life in silence. Be bold. Be truthful. Be you.